"The greatest human tragedy is to give up the search. Nothing is of greater importance than the life of our heart. To lose heart is to lose everything. If we are to bring our hearts along in our life's journey, we simply must not, we cannot, abandon our desires."...

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Being “Helpful” vs. Being “Right”

Our lives are shaped by so many things...our experiences, genetics, faith and the relationships, roles, rules and values within our families of origin.  There was one particular value in my family of origin that I wasn't fully aware of until I was in graduate school...

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Changing the Game

“What then is marriage for? It is for helping each other to become our future glory-selves, the new creations that God will eventually make us…Within this Christian vision for marriage, here’s what it means to fall in love.  It is to look at another person and get a...

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It is in our nature as humans to go into defensive mode when we feel threatened or attacked.  When someone or something threatens our children, we automatically protect them. When someone "hits" us--physically or emotionally--our instinct is to "hit" back.  More often...

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Your Spouse is Not Your Savior

At first, when you read the title of this blog you may be tempted to just move on to the next one thinking “Savior?? Why the heck would I ever consider my spouse my savior?? I’d never do that!” Well, let me ask you this: When your spouse does something that annoys or...

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Controlling Your Emotions

God created us with emotions. Why? Sometimes I wonder! We get accused of being overly emotional, emotionally reactive, emotionless, emotionally distant...among others.  But the truth is our emotions are vital in connecting us to God and others.  So, how do we manage...

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Toxic Thinking

Our thoughts are powerful.  Tremendously powerful.  They can renew or refresh our mind, body, emotions and spirit.  Our thoughts, when negative or toxic, can also poison us.  Toxic thinking can lead to physical illness, emotional distress and loss of hope. Having...

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Slow Down

You know those weeks where life just kind of hands it to you?  Yeah.  It's been one of those. I don't have to go into all the details, and really, there are multiple blog posts that I could write and that could be tied to counseling (and perhaps my need for it--funny...

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Opposites Attract

It's an all too familiar saying in relationships, and one that can spell trouble years into a marriage.  Being 12 years into marriage myself, I can honestly say that we have had our struggles - and our laughs - along the way.  Spender vs. saver, intro vs. extrovert,...

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Conflict–Part II

Last week we talked about the "why" behind resolving conflict.  Why do it?  Why's it important?  What's the point?  This week, we're going to get practical and discuss the "how," and acknowledge some of the the big questions you may have.  HOW do my spouse and I do...

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