Ditch Your Resolutions in Exchange for Vision in 2019

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:19

A New Year

I know you’re reading lots of New Year’s posts and blogs to help you to refocus for 2019 (as you should)! So I want to try to keep this brief, because it’s important and may be a good first step for you to prioritize as you consider and “prepare for” all that will come in the next year (I put that in quotes because there are really so few things you can do to actually prepare for the next twelve months). A colleague I respect recently said this: “New Year’s resolutions feel flimsy, but “vision” feels more viable and concrete.” I agree! I’ve noticed when talking to people recently that there is this “pressure” to resolve to do better at parenting, to stop engaging in the addiction that is interfering with their life, or to begin creating a new routine of habit that will lead to better health. The problem with “resolve” is that, though our intentions may be good, we are not very good at follow through. Well, some of you might be… but the majority of us find it challenging to create lasting and meaningful change because resolve just isn’t enough. But the bigger problem is that when we fail to follow through, we hear shame whisper something like this to us: “You did it again. You’re weak. See, you’ll never change.” 

Goal vs Vision

So what is the difference between a “goal” and a “vision” and how do we use these things to silence the voice of shame in the New Year? 

Most of us use the words vision, goal, and resolution interchangeably and though it may seem like “semantics,” words are important and knowing the difference can be helpful. 
Vision is tied to our values and is more of a direction you want to go in (think North, East, South, or West); a goal is a specific destination that you want to end up at. Creating goals is a valuable practice, so long as it is a SMART goal (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time limited). An “unSMART” goal might sound something like this: “I want to read more books this year.” Whereas a SMART goal might sound something like this: “I will spend 30 minutes per day reading’ I will start with _____ book, and will read every morning somewhere between 5:30 and 6:30am.” But before I even set my goal, I need to identify and begin with a value (in this case, for education and knowledge) which becomes the vision that I used to motivate me to complete the goal that I have created. Though the vision might be the same, the “unSMART goal” is vague and lacks boundaries and objectives; it is almost guaranteed to lead to failure because intention needs actionable steps in order to be successful. 

3 Quick Tips

What are 3 quick tips to transform your weak resolutions into powerful goals? 
1. Don’t just think about it: Don’t allow your ideas to remain in your thoughts, put them down on paper. Write them down and keep them with you every place you go. This constant reminder will help you to re-enforce your goals more than you can imagine. 

2. Don’t set goals you think that you “should have”: Make sure your goals are designed with what you truly desire and have in mind for yourself, not others. Don’t let others expectations of you dictate your goals. 

3. Be positive: Be sure to decide and declare what you want to move toward, not what you want to move away from.

For those of us who have been unsuccessful in keeping New Year’s resolutions in the past, vision is less pressure-laden, and more flexible, hope-full, and meaningful as it creates forward movement towards the destination we’d like to end up at (even when the goal is not accomplished on time or in the way we’d expect). More recently over the past couple of years, it has become popular to choose a “word” or “statement” for the New Year (i.e. health, joy, gratitude, generosity). This is a perfect example of deciding on a vision, based on a value, prior to the formation of your goal. 

What Is My Vision?

Here are two simple steps to discovering and living out your vision for 2019:

1. Begin by asking yourself: “Do I actually believe that God has good plans for my life?”

My answer to this question is a bold and unabashed “YES!” But, I didn’t always believe this. Like most of us, I have been through some very hard things and these “things” can create barriers to my ability to trust that the words of Jeremiah 29:11 apply to me. If my first reaction to this question is “no,” then it is important for me to get this sorted out before I can create any meaningful vision or goals for my life. Maybe you feel like you don’t deserve to have good plans for your life? Maybe you have been told in the past (with or without words) that you are worthless or that you have no purpose? Or maybe “trust” is an issue for you? Maybe you have unresolved pain or trauma that keeps you in “survival mode,” always on the defense? Or maybe you are not sure what you value?

Though I cannot know what the future holds or see all of the details for the next 5, 10, or 20 years… I choose to say “yes” to this question because it provides me with a strong sense of hope. Blogger Jenni Catron makes this important and powerful statement on the subject: “Hope is the anchor of a strong vision. Hope steadies a team. Hope redeems doubt. Andy Andrews says it this way in his book The Final Summit: “Hope is the captain of courage and the author of success. For the person whose hope remains unshaken has within them the power to do miracles. Hope sees what’s invisible, feels what is intangible, and achieves what most consider impossible.” The awesome thing is that scripture backs this up! Do a study of the word “hope” in scripture and discover all that God has to say about this. The basic translation of hope is simply, “the expectation that something good will happen.” .

2. Remember, if you don’t set a vision, something (or someone) else could derail you. 

We can either decide to set a vision that promotes the best version of ourselves by reinforcing the values that are important to us, or we are at risk of some unexpected negative circumstance determining the trajectory of 2019. I have patients and friends who have been through unimaginable trauma in this past year (i.e. affairs, death of a child, miscarriage, divorce, robbery) and ended the year with some of the most hopeful and life-giving declarations I have ever heard. One such friend (whose name I will omit to protect) made this powerful statement just two days ago: “Remember that there will always be seasons of suffering in life, but joy comes in the morning. I know that I’m not alone in this season. Some of you are just heading into a season of suffering, some are right in the midst of it and some of you are just seeing the light on the other side. Keep the faith. Stay strong in the Lord and begin the New Year with Him.” 

Whether we like it or not, the clock keeps ticking and time keeps pushing us forward. Our God, the creator of the entire universe, wants to do a new thing (something that’s NEVER been done before) in you and through you this year (see Isaiah 43). In the days and weeks to come, you will be confronted with unexpected joy and pain and though they may feel similar to things you’ve experienced before, they are not… they will be “novel” or new. A few years back, I feel like I heard the Lord say, “Novelty creates and deepens intimacy.” Think about it. The way you fall in love all over again when you try something new with your spouse, the way that you hyper-bond when you go through unimaginable tragedy with virtual strangers. New things, novel things, well-navigated have the potential to lead us to a deeper place of connection and communion. This New Year is no different!

Opportunities Ahead

My point is this… whether the “novelty” is positive or negative, it carries within it an opportunity for increased intimacy, trust, and connection. This level of relationship offers us a sense of comfort when fear attempts to muddy the waters of our minds, or anger stirs within our hearts, or pain intrudes- finding its way, uninvited, into our souls again. 

What are some vision words or phrases for 2019? Take some time to think about this. Consider the two points above; how do my responses and reactions to both of these play into my ability to formulate a vision with goals to accompany it?

For more information or to schedule a counseling appointment today:

Call us at 303-902-3068
or fill out the form below.

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what to expect

We’re here to help you heal, grow and thrive through Christian counseling.

We understand – the thought of coming to counseling can be intimidating.

Trust us when we say there’s nothing to be afraid of! We’re normal people just like you who have a desire to help you live your life to the fullest.

To help ease any discomfort you may have at the thought of counseling with us, we’d like to let you know how to prepare for counseling and what to expect.

First, we should tell you what therapy is…

  • Therapy is about helping you reach a goal or goals; it’s about getting you to a place where you feel comfortable and satisfied with the way life is humming on around you and within you.
  • Therapy is about working with your therapist to achieve the outcome you’re hoping for. A good therapist is like a coach, teacher, consultant, and referee all wrapped into one. They’ll listen to you and understand you without judging you. They’ll help you see more clearly how you got to where you are and how to get to where you want to go. They’ll give you the confidence to talk about things with others (spouse, family member, friend, co-worker, etc) that you may have been too uncomfortable to bring up on your own.
  • Ultimately, therapy equips you to work through any obstacle that lies between where you are now and where you really want to be.

…and what therapy is not

  • Therapy isn’t always a quick, painless fix.  Sometimes things get worse before they get better.  But if you stick with it and do the hard work of walking through this challenging season with your therapist, things will get better!
  • Therapy isn’t about your therapist doing the work for you.  However good a therapist may be, he/she cannot make you reach your goal(s). They can’t fix your problem(s) for you. You will still have to work at it. What a good therapist will do for you is give you the means and the guidance to help you reach your goal(s), and will walk alongside you until you get there.

Have some questions, or need more info? Click here.

Frequently Asked Questions

On how to prepare for counseling

What will my first session be like?

Your first session is a chance for you to make sure you and your counselor are a great fit! They might ask you about what’s brought you in, if you have questions, and some history. Your counselor may take notes as you talk, to help you as you create a therapy plan together to reach your goals. (You’re not being graded or judged!)

The first session builds the foundation for future growth and healing, and you’ll probably spend a good amount of time talking about your background and the history of what’s bringing you in. You might feel strong emotions, cry, or feel overwhelmed at times, but your counselor is there to help you feel safe, comfortable, and supported.

The therapeutic process can feel slow when you first start. You may feel like the first few sessions haven’t done much, but they are building up to the deeper work! It’s important to remember one session won’t “fix” everything. It can take a few sessions to dig deep before you get to the powerful work of healing.

On the other hand, as you dive into sharing deep hurts, you may notice yourself feeling more vulnerable, raw, or emotional after your first few sessions. This is totally normal! Your therapist can help you identify these deeper emotions and causes, and help you care for yourself as you open yourself up to the process of healing.

The beautiful thing about counseling is that it’s for you. There’s no perfect formula for when you’ll “feel better,” (though sometimes we wish there was!).

As you address important issues, implement the tools and strategies you talk about in counseling, and work through specific things, you may start noticing small changes before big ones.

Give yourself time to get comfortable, feel safe with your therapist, and share your hurts and sorrows. Healing takes time, and there is no pressure or deadline to get there! You’ll start noticing the positive changes in your life at exactly the pace that is right for you.

By blending what fits you both practically and personally!

Practically, what location do you live closest to? Are you looking for someone in person or online? Do you have a price range in mind? Do you need a counselor with specific skills?

Personally, are you more comfortable with a counselor that is soft-spoken and gently encouraging? Do you prefer someone strong who can challenge you to grow? Do you enjoy diving deep into emotions? Or do you prefer concrete strategies and tools?

You can find all this information and more on each counselor’s bio page!

Not sure where to start? Contact our admin team and they can help match you with the right counselor for you!

No worries! We want to make sure that you find the absolute best counselor for you. If you meet with a counselor at Cornerstone and feel like they’re not quite right, or you want someone with more experience or training in a specific area, we offer one free transfer session to a new counselor on our team.

Just reach out to our office and we can set that up for you!

Definitely limit distractions! Wear something comfortable, since you may be sitting or moving around. The last thing you need is that itchy tag stealing your attention every few minutes. Turn notifications off on your phone, watch, and other devices.

If you’re doing online counseling, make sure you’re in a quiet, confidential spot. If you’re coming into the office, come a few minutes early to scope out the location, find the office, and enjoy a cup of coffee or tea in our waiting room.

And of course, make sure you complete your paperwork ahead of time! This not only helps your therapist jump right in, it can help you think through your goals and desires for healing, which helps you make the most of your time together.

To learn more, read our article How to Prepare for Your First Christian Counseling Session.

Therapy length varies based on your needs, goals, and the complexity of your concerns. Some people see progress in a few sessions, while others benefit from a longer course of treatment for deeper or ongoing issues.

Your counselor will work with you to recommend a personalized plan that supports lasting healing and growth. We’ve also created a simple roadmap to help you understand the five phases of therapy: connection, planning, change, review, and celebration.

Get to know us! Follow Cornerstone on Social Media

The Latest from the Blog

what to expect

We’re here to help you heal, grow and thrive through Christian counseling.

We understand – the thought of coming to counseling can be intimidating.

Trust us when we say there’s nothing to be afraid of! We’re normal people just like you who have a desire to help you live your life to the fullest.

To help ease any discomfort you may have at the thought of counseling with us, we’d like to let you know how to prepare for counseling and what to expect.

First, we should tell you what therapy is…

  • Therapy is about helping you reach a goal or goals; it’s about getting you to a place where you feel comfortable and satisfied with the way life is humming on around you and within you.
  • Therapy is about working with your therapist to achieve the outcome you’re hoping for. A good therapist is like a coach, teacher, consultant, and referee all wrapped into one. They’ll listen to you and understand you without judging you. They’ll help you see more clearly how you got to where you are and how to get to where you want to go. They’ll give you the confidence to talk about things with others (spouse, family member, friend, co-worker, etc) that you may have been too uncomfortable to bring up on your own.
  • Ultimately, therapy equips you to work through any obstacle that lies between where you are now and where you really want to be.

…and what therapy is not

  • Therapy isn’t always a quick, painless fix.  Sometimes things get worse before they get better.  But if you stick with it and do the hard work of walking through this challenging season with your therapist, things will get better!
  • Therapy isn’t about your therapist doing the work for you.  However good a therapist may be, he/she cannot make you reach your goal(s). They can’t fix your problem(s) for you. You will still have to work at it. What a good therapist will do for you is give you the means and the guidance to help you reach your goal(s), and will walk alongside you until you get there.

Have some questions, or need more info? Click here.

Frequently Asked Questions

On how to prepare for counseling

What will my first session be like?

Your first session is a chance for you to make sure you and your counselor are a great fit! They might ask you about what’s brought you in, if you have questions, and some history. Your counselor may take notes as you talk, to help you as you create a therapy plan together to reach your goals. (You’re not being graded or judged!)

The first session builds the foundation for future growth and healing, and you’ll probably spend a good amount of time talking about your background and the history of what’s bringing you in. You might feel strong emotions, cry, or feel overwhelmed at times, but your counselor is there to help you feel safe, comfortable, and supported.

The therapeutic process can feel slow when you first start. You may feel like the first few sessions haven’t done much, but they are building up to the deeper work! It’s important to remember one session won’t “fix” everything. It can take a few sessions to dig deep before you get to the powerful work of healing.

On the other hand, as you dive into sharing deep hurts, you may notice yourself feeling more vulnerable, raw, or emotional after your first few sessions. This is totally normal! Your therapist can help you identify these deeper emotions and causes, and help you care for yourself as you open yourself up to the process of healing.

The beautiful thing about counseling is that it’s for you. There’s no perfect formula for when you’ll “feel better,” (though sometimes we wish there was!).

As you address important issues, implement the tools and strategies you talk about in counseling, and work through specific things, you may start noticing small changes before big ones.

Give yourself time to get comfortable, feel safe with your therapist, and share your hurts and sorrows. Healing takes time, and there is no pressure or deadline to get there! You’ll start noticing the positive changes in your life at exactly the pace that is right for you.

By blending what fits you both practically and personally!

Practically, what location do you live closest to? Are you looking for someone in person or online? Do you have a price range in mind? Do you need a counselor with specific skills?

Personally, are you more comfortable with a counselor that is soft-spoken and gently encouraging? Do you prefer someone strong who can challenge you to grow? Do you enjoy diving deep into emotions? Or do you prefer concrete strategies and tools?

You can find all this information and more on each counselor’s bio page!

Not sure where to start? Contact our admin team and they can help match you with the right counselor for you!

No worries! We want to make sure that you find the absolute best counselor for you. If you meet with a counselor at Cornerstone and feel like they’re not quite right, or you want someone with more experience or training in a specific area, we offer one free transfer session to a new counselor on our team.

Just reach out to our office and we can set that up for you!

Definitely limit distractions! Wear something comfortable, since you may be sitting or moving around. The last thing you need is that itchy tag stealing your attention every few minutes. Turn notifications off on your phone, watch, and other devices.

If you’re doing online counseling, make sure you’re in a quiet, confidential spot. If you’re coming into the office, come a few minutes early to scope out the location, find the office, and enjoy a cup of coffee or tea in our waiting room.

And of course, make sure you complete your paperwork ahead of time! This not only helps your therapist jump right in, it can help you think through your goals and desires for healing, which helps you make the most of your time together.

To learn more, read our article How to Prepare for Your First Christian Counseling Session.

Therapy length varies based on your needs, goals, and the complexity of your concerns. Some people see progress in a few sessions, while others benefit from a longer course of treatment for deeper or ongoing issues.

Your counselor will work with you to recommend a personalized plan that supports lasting healing and growth. We’ve also created a simple roadmap to help you understand the five phases of therapy: connection, planning, change, review, and celebration.

Get to know us! Follow Cornerstone on Social Media

The Latest from the Blog

what to expect

We’re here to help you heal, grow and thrive through Christian counseling.

We understand – the thought of coming to counseling can be intimidating.

Trust us when we say there’s nothing to be afraid of! We’re normal people just like you who have a desire to help you live your life to the fullest.

To help ease any discomfort you may have at the thought of counseling with us, we’d like to let you know how to prepare for counseling and what to expect.

First, we should tell you what therapy is…

  • Therapy is about helping you reach a goal or goals; it’s about getting you to a place where you feel comfortable and satisfied with the way life is humming on around you and within you.
  • Therapy is about working with your therapist to achieve the outcome you’re hoping for. A good therapist is like a coach, teacher, consultant, and referee all wrapped into one. They’ll listen to you and understand you without judging you. They’ll help you see more clearly how you got to where you are and how to get to where you want to go. They’ll give you the confidence to talk about things with others (spouse, family member, friend, co-worker, etc) that you may have been too uncomfortable to bring up on your own.
  • Ultimately, therapy equips you to work through any obstacle that lies between where you are now and where you really want to be.

…and what therapy is not

  • Therapy isn’t always a quick, painless fix.  Sometimes things get worse before they get better.  But if you stick with it and do the hard work of walking through this challenging season with your therapist, things will get better!
  • Therapy isn’t about your therapist doing the work for you.  However good a therapist may be, he/she cannot make you reach your goal(s). They can’t fix your problem(s) for you. You will still have to work at it. What a good therapist will do for you is give you the means and the guidance to help you reach your goal(s), and will walk alongside you until you get there.

Have some questions, or need more info? Click here.

Frequently Asked Questions

On how to prepare for counseling

What will my first session be like?

Your first session is a chance for you to make sure you and your counselor are a great fit! They might ask you about what’s brought you in, if you have questions, and some history. Your counselor may take notes as you talk, to help you as you create a therapy plan together to reach your goals. (You’re not being graded or judged!)

The first session builds the foundation for future growth and healing, and you’ll probably spend a good amount of time talking about your background and the history of what’s bringing you in. You might feel strong emotions, cry, or feel overwhelmed at times, but your counselor is there to help you feel safe, comfortable, and supported.

The therapeutic process can feel slow when you first start. You may feel like the first few sessions haven’t done much, but they are building up to the deeper work! It’s important to remember one session won’t “fix” everything. It can take a few sessions to dig deep before you get to the powerful work of healing.

On the other hand, as you dive into sharing deep hurts, you may notice yourself feeling more vulnerable, raw, or emotional after your first few sessions. This is totally normal! Your therapist can help you identify these deeper emotions and causes, and help you care for yourself as you open yourself up to the process of healing.

The beautiful thing about counseling is that it’s for you. There’s no perfect formula for when you’ll “feel better,” (though sometimes we wish there was!).

As you address important issues, implement the tools and strategies you talk about in counseling, and work through specific things, you may start noticing small changes before big ones.

Give yourself time to get comfortable, feel safe with your therapist, and share your hurts and sorrows. Healing takes time, and there is no pressure or deadline to get there! You’ll start noticing the positive changes in your life at exactly the pace that is right for you.

By blending what fits you both practically and personally!

Practically, what location do you live closest to? Are you looking for someone in person or online? Do you have a price range in mind? Do you need a counselor with specific skills?

Personally, are you more comfortable with a counselor that is soft-spoken and gently encouraging? Do you prefer someone strong who can challenge you to grow? Do you enjoy diving deep into emotions? Or do you prefer concrete strategies and tools?

You can find all this information and more on each counselor’s bio page!

Not sure where to start? Contact our admin team and they can help match you with the right counselor for you!

No worries! We want to make sure that you find the absolute best counselor for you. If you meet with a counselor at Cornerstone and feel like they’re not quite right, or you want someone with more experience or training in a specific area, we offer one free transfer session to a new counselor on our team.

Just reach out to our office and we can set that up for you!

Definitely limit distractions! Wear something comfortable, since you may be sitting or moving around. The last thing you need is that itchy tag stealing your attention every few minutes. Turn notifications off on your phone, watch, and other devices.

If you’re doing online counseling, make sure you’re in a quiet, confidential spot. If you’re coming into the office, come a few minutes early to scope out the location, find the office, and enjoy a cup of coffee or tea in our waiting room.

And of course, make sure you complete your paperwork ahead of time! This not only helps your therapist jump right in, it can help you think through your goals and desires for healing, which helps you make the most of your time together.

To learn more, read our article How to Prepare for Your First Christian Counseling Session.

Therapy length varies based on your needs, goals, and the complexity of your concerns. Some people see progress in a few sessions, while others benefit from a longer course of treatment for deeper or ongoing issues.

Your counselor will work with you to recommend a personalized plan that supports lasting healing and growth. We’ve also created a simple roadmap to help you understand the five phases of therapy: connection, planning, change, review, and celebration.

Get to know us! Follow Cornerstone on Social Media

The Latest from the Blog