‘Tis the season for “#noshaveNovember” and social media “#30daysofthankfulness,” and while I haven’t participated in either – one for obvious reasons, and the other because I don’t have that much time on my hands, there is something to be said about being intentional about remembering what we have to be thankful for. So, here it goes:
- God loving me enough to die for me
- My hubby for being my partner, my provider, my friend, an amazing father…
- My eldest son asking Jesus into his heart this year
- My youngest son finding his own things to be proud of in his life
- Grandmas and papas who love my kids beyond what words can say
- Aunts and uncles who even from far distances love and encourage
- Friends for sharing in the journey of life
- Hugs before bedtime
- A roof over my head
- Food to eat at every meal
- Broncos games on Sundays
- Fuzzy socks on cold days
- Peppermint coffee creamer
- Kids singing in the back seat of the car
I really could go on and on with this, but as I reflect on these things, I think about those of you I have talked with who feel more overwhelmed by loss, grief, anger, sadness, etc… than feelings of thankfulness this Thanksgiving. These come because:
- You have lost a family member who used to sit at the Thanksgiving table
- Your family split up and you have to choose where to have Thanksgiving
- You can’t stand the person who calls themselves your partner who sits across the table from you because of all the hurt between you
- You can’t be with the people you want to be
- You or family members are ill
- You have been deeply hurt by someone
- You have been through something else that steals the joy of the holiday
- You are too stressed by work or life’s busyness
- You have your own reasons…
I understand, and have had holidays filled with more of those feelings and experiences and I know that it is not easy. So what do you do? I don’t have all the answers and certainly don’t pretend to, but here are some suggestions that have worked for me and others:
- Find five things every day to be grateful for – even in the darkest places, you can find good
- Spend time reading about Jesus in the Bible in the book of John – you will find that He knows your pain personally
- Honor those you have lost by sharing good memories of them
- Give to others who are less fortunate than you are
- Slow down and be in the moments
- Give yourself time and space to grieve
- Think about how to make new traditions with the people you still have
- Work toward making amends where you need to
- Find someone to help you through the hurt – you are not meant to deal with it alone
From my family to yours, my hope for you is a blessed and Happy Thanksgiving – no matter where you are in your journey.
Written by Vicki Faris, MA, LPC
Gentle Support for Heavy Holiday Seasons
When grief, family strain, or painful memories make the holidays feel overwhelming, you don’t have to carry that weight in silence. In counseling, we offer a quiet, compassionate space to process your loss, guard your emotional capacity, and find steady comfort.
