A Look at Postpartum Depression in Fathers

Dads with postpartum depression and anxiety is more common than you might think! At Cornerstone Christian Counseling, we’re here for you every step of the way. Here is my story: I’ll never forget my husband coming home after taking his “Daddy Boot Camp” training, holding my breath, and wondering what he thought. My brother-in-law had taken it when they had children and had highly encouraged him to take it too once we were pregnant, otherwise, I don’t think my husband would have been up for it. He would often tell me things like, “You girls have been preparing for this mom thing all your lives from the time you are given your first baby doll. We men are simply not, we don’t know what we are doing.” So I was beyond relieved when he got home from the class and told me all the great treasures he had learned about parenting and was excited to implement; to this day we still use many of them!

FATHERHOOD: THEN AND NOW

There are a lot of stereotypes that are being challenged in society – Fatherhood is one of those areas. Go back a few generations to what childbirth used to look like, and you would often find men not in the birthing room, but in the waiting room. Then, once the child was born, the Father might be able to take a few days off, a week if lucky. Fortunately, these are no longer the norms of our society. Dads are encouraged in the birth room and engaged throughout the whole process – just ask my husband about that one! He loves telling the story of having to hold one of my legs during the pushing process while he had to go to the bathroom (yes, we all feel so bad for him – haha)! Furthermore, there are now opportunities for Dad’s to take paternity leave of a few weeks, and things like skin-to-skin contact is not just encouraged for the Mom and baby, but for Dad and baby as well. Attachment and bonding are vital not only with Mom, but also with Dad.

Interestingly enough, for all the positive steps taken towards engaging and including a Father during the birth and first few months of life with his child, one misconception that is still largely unaddressed is that a father doesn’t experience the emotional and physical impact that a mother does once the baby is born. This simply isn’t true. With the recent training around Perinatal Mood Disorders that I and several members of the Cornerstone staff completed, one of the most impactful sessions we attended was where we learned that men experience postpartum depression too.

changes…changes…changes…

Following the birth of a child, men are known to experience a decrease in testosterone and increases in cortisol, estrogen, vasopressin and prolactin/oxytocin. Their bodies/systems are having to reset, their sleep cycles are often interrupted/impacted, and their lives are completely being restructured!! I was surprised that our training was the first time I had heard this; even though my husband took the “Daddy Boot Camp” training, this was never brought up.

Signs of dads with postpartum

Being a dad is hard! Some of the key factors to be aware of as a Father, especially if you have young children or newborns, are:

Understanding a change in roles/schedules will bring additional stress and uncertainties
One in 10 new dad’s develop depression
2-18% new dad’s develop anxiety
There is a higher impact of a new baby when the dad has a history of mental health issues, abuse, or trauma

The other areas to be aware of as a new Dad are ways that depression can be “masked” with:

Lower stress threshold
Substance use
Aggressiveness, low impulse control
Feeling of being burned out and empty
Constant, inexplicable tiredness
Irritability, restlessness, dissatisfaction
Difficulty making ordinary everyday decisions
Sleep problems
Feeling anxiety –especially in the morning
Abusive, hyperactive, or antisocial behavior
Depressive thoughts
Criticizing
The “withdrawal response”
ANGER, ADDICTION, AND WITHDRAWAL

Encouraging Steps

I am so encouraged that some hospitals and doctor’s offices are now incorporating follow-up screenings and check-ins to discuss postpartum symptoms and perinatal mood disorders. Please, know that it is the heart of Cornerstone and those of us that have begun the steps of learning more about perinatal mood disorders to better support those going through difficulties around getting pregnant, mourning of miscarriage, regrets or mourning of abortion, and pregnancies resulting in postpartum symptoms.

Some helpful tips for Perinatal Mood Disorders:

If you or someone you know is pregnant or recently pregnant, here are some points about postpartum that could be helpful to know:

1. It could come as late as one year after birth/loss and often develops even during pregnancy.

2. Specific symptoms to be aware of can include:

Depression (Sadness, Crying Jags, Feeling Overwhelmed, Irritability, Agitation, Anger, Sleep Disturbance, Appetite Changes, Mood Swings, Apathy, Exhaustion)
Anxiety (Panic Attacks, Insomnia, Low Appetite, Fears: losing control, illness, danger, fainting, physical symptoms: shaky, dizzy or short of breath)

And lastly, here’s an opportunity for a self-check:

If you agree with three or more points below, you are more likely to have depression or anxiety during pregnancy, or postpartum. Please reach out for help to reduce your risk!

It’s hard for me to ask for help.
I’ve had trouble with hormones and moods, especially before my period.
I was depressed or anxious after my last baby or during my pregnancy.
I’ve been depressed or anxious in the past.
My mother, sister, or aunt was depressed after her baby was born.
Sometimes it’s hard to slow down: I don’t need to sleep, have lots of new ideas, and feel very restless.
My family is far away and I don’t have many friends nearby.
I don’t have the money, food or housing I need.

And Moms, you can help support Dad, too!

Give dad “alone time” with child
Encourage dad to hang out with buddies and get social support guilt-free
Help them get their own social support needs met
Recognize that dads’ approach to parenting is different, and not necessarily bad

With Father’s Day fresh on our minds, we just want to shout it from the rooftops: Dads, you do so much! We thank you and value you for who you are and for all the ways you love your children! We see you too, and you are not alone!

However, it’s not easy being a parent. If you or someone you love is struggling with the adjustment a baby has brought into the family, there is no shame in that! In fact, many of us on the team have been there ourselves. Please give us a call or shoot us an email, and we would be honored to pair you up with a counselor who can walk with you through this transition!

Some additional Resources:

Padre Cadre – www.padrecadre.com
Life of Dad – www.lifeofdad.com
Basic Training for New Dads – www.menexcel.com
FB Brand New Father Group – https://www.facebook.com/groups/bnfsupport/
Postpartum Support International – www.postpartum.net **Dads Chat**
The Good Men Project – http://goodmenproject.com/category/families/
Daddit – http://www.reddit.com/r/daddit
Dad Labs – http://www.dadlabs.com/
National Fatherhood Initiative – www.fatherhood.org

Invitation

Are you anxious, worried, and stuck at home? We would love to set you up with one of our professional therapists (we have online counseling options). Feel free to explore our website and read through some of our therapist’s bios. Give us a call with your questions at 303-902-3068 or email us at info@christiancounselingco.com.

For more information or to schedule a counseling appointment today:

Call us at 303-902-3068
or fill out the form below.

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