The Bible tells us that the tongue has the power of life and death (Proverbs 18:21). Our words can either build up or tear down relationships, and it’s essential to use them wisely. Unfortunately, many Christians struggle with controlling their words and end up causing damage to their relationships. However, there is hope, and we can learn to tame the tongue and become more intentional with our words. In this blog post, we will explore some practical tips on how to tame the tongue and improve your relationships from a Christian perspective.

7 Tips to Tame Your Tongue:

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Think Before You Speak
One of the most effective ways to tame the tongue is to think before you speak. The Bible tells us to be slow to speak and quick to listen (James 1:19). Before you say something, ask yourself if it is true, necessary, and kind. If the answer is no, then it’s best to keep your words to yourself. Remember, once you say something, you cannot take it back, and the damage may be irreversible.

Speak Truth in Love
The Bible tells us to speak truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). This means being honest and straightforward with others while also speaking with kindness and compassion. When you speak truth in love, you are more likely to be heard and understood. You are also less likely to cause hurt or offense.

Practice Active Listening
Active listening is a crucial skill for Christians who want to honor God in their speech. When we listen actively, we demonstrate love and respect for others. We also create a safe and supportive environment where others can express themselves freely. As James 1:19 reminds us, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

Use Words to Build Up
Proverbs 16:24 tells us, “Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.” When we use our words to build up and encourage others, we bring honor to God and strengthen our relationships. Instead of criticizing, complaining, or gossiping, focus on using your words to uplift and inspire others.

How to Tame the Tongue Cornerstone Christian Counseling

Pray for Wisdom and Self-Control
Taming the tongue is not easy, and we all struggle with saying things we regret. However, with God’s help, we can overcome this challenge. James 1:5 reminds us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” Pray for wisdom and self-control in your speech, and trust that God will guide you.

Avoid Gossip
Gossip is a common problem in Christian circles, and it can cause significant damage to relationships. The Bible tells us to avoid gossip and slander (Proverbs 20:19, James 4:11). If you have an issue with someone, talk to them directly instead of talking behind their back. Gossip only creates division and destroys trust.

Apologize and Forgive
Finally, when we do say something hurtful or offensive, it’s important to apologize and seek forgiveness. As Christians, we are called to forgive others as Christ has forgiven us (Colossians 3:13). This means letting go of grudges and resentments and extending grace and mercy to those who have wronged us.

Taming the tongue is not easy, and it takes practice and effort. However, by using these tips and relying on God’s grace, we can improve our relationships and become better communicators. At Cornerstone Christian Counseling, we believe that healthy communication is essential for building strong and lasting relationships. Our Christian counselors are dedicated to helping clients develop effective communication skills, manage conflicts, and cultivate healthy relationships. Contact us today at christiancounselingco.com to schedule a consultation and start your journey towards taming the tongue and improving your relationships.

At Cornerstone Christian Counseling, we believe that healthy communication is an essential component of a thriving relationship. Our counselors are trained to help clients develop effective communication skills, manage conflicts, and strengthen their relationships. We also offer Christian counseling services for those who desire to integrate their faith into the counseling process.

To learn more about our Christian counseling services, fill out the form below, and give us a call at 303-902-3068 (Colorado) or 904-439-4400 (Florida).



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  1. The Holy Bible, New International Version. Zondervan, 2011.
  2. Cloud, H., & Townsend, J. (2002). Boundaries: When to say yes, how to say no to take control of your life. Zondervan.
  3. Eggerichs, E. (2011). Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs. Thomas Nelson.