As the wedding season approaches, you’re probably not thinking too much about premarital counseling. You and your partner are too busy with wedding preparations – tasting food, selecting the perfect DJ (Cupid Shuffle, anyone?), finalizing the guest list, and a myriad of other expensive things to consider. Amidst all the hustle and bustle, have you thought about investing in premarital counseling?
Imagine setting off on a week-long hiking expedition without proper gear, meals, clothing, or a plan. You’d likely get hurt, lost, or worse. In the same way, premarital counseling can prepare you for a marriage that lasts a lifetime. It’s an opportunity to ensure that you and your partner are “on the same page” and can establish a solid foundation for a lasting marriage. Yes, marriage can be challenging (ok, it IS challenging) but before embarking on this lifelong journey, it is essential to prepare yourselves adequately.
3 Reasons you need Premarital Counseling:
- Motivation, Core Values, and Differences: Premarital counseling equips you with communication and conflict management skills. But have you thought about what causes miscommunication and conflict in the first place? Conflict is not only inevitable in any relationship, but it is also necessary. Every person brings unique perspectives, experiences, and expectations into a relationship. That’s why it’s crucial to work together to increase awareness of each other’s core values, choices, and viewpoints, which will help you grow and change together. People say opposites attract, but without personal investment and the desire for improvement, opposites can attack. Pretty catchy, eh?
- Family Boundaries: Dynamics are always interesting. Our experiences growing up influence our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors as an adult. To avoid unexpected conflict with your partner regarding the relationships you have with your parents, siblings, and other family members, discuss these dynamics ahead of time. Even if you think your family is weird, loud, obnoxious, intense, or just plain crazy, attempting to gloss over challenging family dynamics can lead to disconnect and division in your relationship. Discussing important boundaries upfront is a proactive way to address problems with family members and your partner in the future.
- Sin and Forgiveness: An ugly truth about marriage is that you will hurt each other. It’s inevitable. Whether accidentally or intentionally, both partners will do their fair share of disappointing and upsetting the other. We’re making marriage sound like a really good time, right? Preparing for conflict is essential, but how do you repair the damage after the conflict? Many people lack the skills and practice of forgiveness and reconciliation. Forgiveness requires you to lay down pride, anger, and resentment to turn towards Christ and your spouse. Being honest about your tendencies and hang-ups upfront can help you exercise grace, flexibility, and understanding later. Forgiveness is one of the most important tools to strengthen and persevere through challenges.
Our clinically excellent Christian counselors understand the value of premarital counseling. Our therapists are equipped to help you and your partner get off on the right foot. Contact us to request an appointment or fill out the form below!
Invest in your marriage. It really is worth it.
FIND A CHRISTIAN THERAPIST
Research shows that much of the change people experience during their time in therapy is because they felt heard and understood by their therapist–that their therapist “got them” and that the guidance they gave was relevant and applicable. Because of this, it is critical that you find a therapist whom you can connect with, whom you feel comfortable with, whom you feel “gets you.” Therefore, we encourage you to take a few minutes to read a little about each one of our therapists. If you prefer to look at the counselors nearest to you, please click the office location buttons below. Otherwise, you can meet with any of our Christian Counselors online from the comfort of your own home. If you have questions about any of them, please contact us!