We all desire connection. Asking questions can be one way to gain knowledge, foster friendship, and strengthen relationship connections.  Maybe you have seen those boxes, card decks, or question games? Some designed to break the ice, some for laughter and fun, and some designed for building connection and intimacy.    

Building a friendship is essential to successful romantic relationships.

Continually learning about and engaging with our partner in meaningful ways helps us build and maintain that deeper connection.  This tends to come more easily when we are first dating, but most of us have a deep desire for that friendship and connection to continue as our relationship grows, changes, deepens, and extends through the years.

Understanding our partner’s perspective, their inner world, their deepest fears, and their biggest, wildest dreams help us know our partner in a richer and deeper context, which in turn can help strengthen and fortify our relationship during times of conflict and relationship storms.

Why Asking Questions to Your Partner Matters:

Having knowledge and understanding of our partner helps create love, friendship, understanding, and empathy.  Getting to know our partner brings awareness to what they might be thinking or feeling and helps build relational strength.  Most of us want to be understood, known, and loved for who we are.  Asking questions and spending time learning about our partner provides opportunities to make our partner feel understood, allows us to know and be known, and builds and maintains connection and intimacy.  

 Ask all sorts of questions! They can range from fun, light-hearted, silly, and playful, to deeply vulnerable and intimate.  Share memories of the past, details of the present, and hopes for the future.  Check-up or check-in about your relationship and stay up to date with your partner.  

The list of potential questions is endless, really…but here are a few, from lighthearted and fun, to more intense and intimate, to get you started in building, maintaining, or rebuilding friendship and connection with your significant other.  

12 Questions to Ask Your Partner to Build Friendship & Intimacy: 

  1. When was the last time I made you laugh? 
  2. What is one of your favorite things to eat and the best place to get it?
  3. If we were to go on a week-long road trip adventure, where would you want to go?  
  4. Describe your best or worst swimming experience as a kid.
  5. Is there anything you’ve longed to do with your life yet that you haven’t?
  6. What is the craziest thing we’ve done as a couple?
  7. Name one similarity and one difference that you think attracted us to each other.
  8. What is one of your current concerns or worries?
  9. Whose marriage do you most consider to be a model marriage and why?
  10. What is something I could do to make you trust me even more?
  11. If we had a theme song, what would it be?
  12. How have you changed in the last year?
Shannon McClanahan Christian Counselor

Author: Shannon McClanahan 

Shannon McClanahan is a Christian Counselor on our team who loves to work with individuals and couples. She has a wide range of specialties that include life transitions, anxiety/depression, women’s issues, and Brainspotting. If you’re interested in working with Shannon or another member of our team click the buttons below. 

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